By Andy Tristram

I need a new roof on my House. Who should I pay my hard-earned money to and hope to get a good job done?

I could simply use the first contractor I come across and trust them. We are generally advised to get quotes and recommendations. In an ideal world I would like to see a job that the contractor has done previously.

I have a choice between Contractor A, who has yet to complete a job left to him by a previous contractor who upped-stumps and left; and Contractor B, who hasn’t actually done anything like the job required but seems to have made a lot of money in a previous career. A lot of people were so impressed by how much money he had made that they felt roofing experience would be a hindrance and not a benefit.

The people who started work with Contractor A don’t seem to be around all that much. I don’t know what happened to them. Contractor B and his sidekick have lost a lot of the young men who used to work for their company (and were touted as exciting new hot-housed talent) but turned out to be Ratbags and couldn’t be trusted to work unsupervised.

Perhaps the ideal situation would be to hire a posse of contractors who don’t want to work together. A random selection, preferably a bunch that rub each other the wrong way, have wildly varying views on how the job should be done and who hate each other. That really opens up the job to competition – and competition, I am assured, is the key to a dynamic economy and a happier Aotearoa!

So I’m left with a question – how will I get the new roof? What are the chances the job comes in on budget, on time and be the job I asked for? I’ve got to make up my mind by Election Day.