Gill Ward Marks The 13th Anniversary Of Twin Sister Jackie’s Death From Cancer

This week a sort of indulgence for me, writes Poetry Editor Gill Ward.

“July 4th is the 13th anniversary of my twin sister, Jackie, dying.

Jackie was brave and stoic

She was brave and stoic for a long time and I did tell her not to die and she did say ‘I’m trying not to.’

So this is one of my poems for her. You will see it’s about coming to terms. This poem was in my 2011 collection. Poetic Explanations (Kupu Press).

It was also printed in the Dom Post about that time. It was the poem they chose from the book so I feel confident about sharing it with you all. Gill

My sister wears a wig.

(after the treatment)

I look at you and think

you are still beautiful

but

you are the all the books I have never read

all the conversations I have never had

all the places I have never visited

and I think

too late

too late

and yet you are still beautiful

and still

me, churning and restless

tossed in a maelstrom

of fear, energy, rage,

injustice.

Yet

so long together

twin to twin

how can this be unfair

can I not recognise the

gifts

be grateful

be accepting?

Today I glimpsed you

bald

and thought

this is truth.

Denial grabbed her bag

of tricks and fled.

Gill adds: ‘That’s a play house behind us in the photo. Our dad built it with old packing cases. We could get into it and if a friend came to play there was room for three.

That is a play house behind us in the photo. Our dad built it with old packing cases. We could get into it and if a friend came to play there was room for 3.

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