Gilbert Haisman Misfires/Tires

Random Misfirings of an Addled Brain

The Kapiti Independent is proud to announce the appointment of a Random Addled Brain correspondent from — where else — Paekakariki. He is the noted musician, writer and academic Gilbert Haisman. His first column follows…

Why the Ridiculous Right Deserves Power

By Gilbert Haisman
From the sands of Paekakariki
 The Tea Party: Congratulations all round. What David Lange said about Don Brash. We need an Auckland-New Zealand Friendship Society. Why thinking people should yield power to the ridiculous right.

The Tea Party: congratulations all round

What a wonderful country we live in. In most cultures, Bradley Ambrose would by now have assassinated John Key in order to pre-empt his own death at the hands of National Party hitmen.

Instead, good old John handed the matter to the police and Brad, not to be outdone, is asking the High Court to rule whether or not the meeting was private. Best of all, the media is giving us comedy in close-up as party leaders sink in the harmless quicksand of a crisis caused by their dumbed-down opportunism.

And (have you noticed?) not only are they all blokes this time around, but the eloquent Winston, with his unique gift of inserting a few good points into his torrents of reactionary vitriol, is the only gladiator.  (Oh, Winnie! How bereft we would feel if we couldn’t admire your heroic efforts to suppress that grin.)

And, not least, we have the fascination of watching the Prime Minister, who responded well to the tragedies of Pike River and the Christchurch earthquake, being rattled by a sideshow that feels more important than the circus. This is win-win-win-win-win political theatre to die for.

What David Lange said about Don Brash

Talking of political theatre, did you hear what David Lange, on this deathbed, said about Don Brash?  A visiting friend opined that Brash lacked a sense of political theatre.  David disagreed.  “Don,” he said, “is the anaesthetist.”

We need an Auckland-New Zealand Friendship Society

Our two territories need less hostility, better trade links and, just in case God acts in mysterious ways, more efficient arrangements for disaster relief (think Epsom).

And don’t imagine that cultural exchanges would be all one way.  Heaps of Aucklanders are Asian or Polynesian, and the city also boasts promising graffiti plus several renegade dancers and comedians who, because they must look after their elderly parents, are postponing their move to Paekakariki.

Auckland also has some great audiences, thanks to the countless former New Zealanders who have moved up there, some of whom still have their marbles.

And how’s this for a smart move?  Let’s help our Auckland friends set up Te Papa North and then we can send them all the theme park stuff from Te Papa Central, thereby clearing space for a national museum and art gallery in the capital. This would raise the cultural tone of both regions.

Why thinking people should yield power to the ridiculous right

The Great Recession, deepening by the minute, is unlike any previous economic crisis. Meltdown threatens and nobody knows what to do, except (sigh) the loony left.

So, who better to go down with the sinking ship than the deluded idiots whose debt-financed free-market gambling addictions torpedoed it?

Once the Humpty Dumpty of the fallen global economy is in pieces, maybe some shamanic genius will study entrails that no economist will have ever seen before, and then achieve what no political tradition has produced in generations: genuinely new insights that might lead to relative sanity.





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