Trumpeting the latest

Gilbert Haisman brings us up to date with the latest moves from the White House.

Moving experiences

Praising the genius of his infallible gut bacteria, the US president has, via a series of 4 a.m. tweets:

  • replaced the Mueller Inquiry with the Melania Commission,
  • announced that a fleet of coal-powered NASA moon shuttles will jump-start tax-exempt green cheese industries in key swing states,
  • appointed Barron as White House Chief of Staff (in charge of instant re-staffing with KGB agents).

Furthermore,  inspired by the pomp and ceremony of his visit to Windsor Castle, said “We’ll see what happens” after using “the art of the deal” to set up newly-appointed White House intern Stormy Daniels as Inaugural US Constitutional Monarch.

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